Carrying a grudge is a heavy weight that is exhausting for everyone. The word forgive comes from the Greek language. It means "to let go" and that is exactly what "forgiveness" is. It's working through and resolving your thoughts and feelings about an incident or a person so you don't have to let it keep you down, replaying it over and over in your head.
Forgiveness is something you give yourself not the other person. Forgiveness does not mean the other person that offended you is getting away with something. It really helps you to stop being the victim and to take steps to control, protect and assert yourself. If you want to revenge the best way to get it is by being happy, and forgiveness let you be just that "happy". When you do not forgive you leave yourself open to negative people, negative energy, a lower immune system, sickness, and disease. I agree learning to forgive is not easy, but if you want happiness you have to learn to do it for "YOU".
SCREAM AND CRY
Screaming and crying is usually the first step. Screaming allows you to get rid of the poison that is in your body..... SCREAM AND HOLLER (let it all out). Then comes the crying, the sadness, and disappointment, let it all come over you because only then you can start healing.
Forgiving ~ Strike a Pose
Certain body postures can evoke specific feelings. For a pose that generates feelings of security and forgiveness, put your left hand over your heart and your right hand over your navel. Do this in a sitting position if you are feeling confused or standing if you are feeling confronted. Doing this lying down, generate self-love. Stay in this pose as you go through the process of letting go.
Details, Details, Details
You need to remember the details, trying to forget the details is another form of denial. Remembering fully helps us take note of what we do not want to see repeated. Though we are forgiving that person we do not want to give anyone permission to commit the same mistakes again and again. Review the details like a slow-motion movie a few times until you can observe it without getting emotionally caught up in it until you feel like you are an outside witness observing it. You will begin to have a different perspective.
This is crucial to the forgiveness process; mentally put yourself in the offender's place. This allows you to get a better understanding of that person as to why the person acted the way they did, their fear, anger, hurt, and their need for respect, acknowledgment, and love. Also explore your own role in the incident, instead of saying why did he (or) she do it, try saying why did I react the way I did.
Sit quietly with your eyes closed and envision the person you are forgiven, then send that person loving thoughts, and tell them in your mind's eye that you love them. I know that this will seem impossible, but you can do it. Don't give up on the first or second try, practice makes perfect. Keep trying this exercise until the anger slowly diminish and say "I release you from the grip of my sadness, disapproval, or condemnation". Remember, just because you forgive does not mean you have to trust them. Trust must be earned. Release negativity and take back control of your life!